MAD MEAT GENIUS

MAD MEAT GENIUS
Chilebrown at home

Monday, February 28, 2022

CRUMBY


  Once a year we celibrate our Birthday/Anniversary date. Yes, I we got married on my birthday. This Mad Meat Genius has watched many situation comedies where the spouse forgets the date. I ain't no dummy. We like to go to fancy steakhouses for our private little party. Some of you may know that I am easily amused and look forward to the Crumbsweepers appearance. This did not happen last night.


The food was great. The service was fine. They even put little decorations on our table to acknowledge our Birthday/Anniversary celebration. Our dinner entre was complete and my wayward bread crumbs were scattered. Would our beloved Crumbsweeper appear? Our cheerful waitress cleared our table with expertise; stacking numerous plates on her arms that demonstrated balance and coordination. Would that be all tonight? Can I bring you a dessert menu? WHAT? You forgot to sweep the crumbs. My heart dropped. A hollow feeling in my stomach echoed the disappointment my soul recognized. The Crumbsweeper is dead................at least for last nights dinner.


 



Monday, February 21, 2022

WINNER WINNER STEAK DINNER

 


"Guilty as charged, your honor". Yes, I go on Facebook and enter contests. Every once in awhile, I win. This contest was perfect for your Mad Meat Genius. Two hundred dollars of vouchers for meat at the local super market. I went to the store to redeem my prize. They are special ordering my Prime USDA corn-fed New York strip steak. Even at todays prices I will still get a very large steak or two for FREE.

Sunday, February 13, 2022

TAKE A CHANCE

 


Once in awhile you take a chance. We saw a trailer parked down by the marina with this sign attached advertising "Tiny's Happy Hogs". I gave the number a call. I talked to Tiny and he explained he was in California working at the refineries temporarily. His parents owned a hog farm in Illinois. They processed the meat at a USDA inspected facility and was delivered to him by tractor trailer. He operated out of his small trailer and freezer in a back shed. He sent me a price list.
  Happy Hogs has nose to tail offerings. You can even buy a whole hog if you pre-order. I ordered some bone-in chops, sausage and bacon. I met Tiny at his trailer. Tiny is not tiny. He is a hulking giant of a man who probably eats very well. Once home we tried the sausage and pork chops. They both were very good. Happy Hogs prices are reasonable and we were satisfied. Some times it pays to take a chance. 


Monday, February 7, 2022

CHOCOLATE SWISS ARMY KNIVES


People collect all sorts of things. I collect pocket and custom kitchen knives. My latest acquisition covers several bases. Victorinox Chocolate Swiss Army knives are the perfect collectible. There is one slight itsy bitsy problem. I have eaten half of my collection all ready.

Update: I used to have a set of Victorinox Chocolate Swiss Army knives.


 

Saturday, January 29, 2022

SOUS VIDE


 It is the end of the world as we know it. KCBS has jumped into the new competition steak arena. KCBS is doing their best to spark new interest in barbeque competitions. I say barbeque and want to bite my tongue. Pictured above is a screenshot of a new KCBS rule in the newly created "Judges Steak Series Program". Sous Vide machines, gas & electric "cooking" devices can be used in competition; blasphemous. Some of you may know my disdain of the S.V. machine. Typically the S.V. is gifted at a Holiday, they are used once or twice and they are put on a shelf to gather dust to eternity. I do have some friends that pontificate on how wonderful these contraptions are. They are morons. People who use S.V. machines are friends of liquid smoke and the ironic thing is they still have to fire up the bbq to hide their anemic proteins flabby texture. I am disappointed that KCBS has opened this door. Stay tuned for the next chapter;  Microwave Competitors Series.

P.S. If you were offended by my stance on Sous Vide machines..........Get a life!!!!!!!

Sunday, January 23, 2022

GOODBYE MY FRIEND

 


John died a year ago. I never got a chance to say goodbye. He did not die of Covid but of terminal cancer.  His last days took place during the pandemic and he died alone in the hospital.

Johnny was my ‘Bro-in-law”. He married Paula my wife’s sister after a lengthy, very lengthy courtship. He was a colorful character that may have been a little gruff on the exterior but was soft as a teddy bear inside. At one long moment in his life John was a biker. He loved his Harley Davidsons. He finally acquired the funds to buy a brand new Harley Davidson. This was his pride and joy. I asked him time and time again to let me ride his prized “Hog”. He declined for the longest time but one day he eventually agreed. I never got a chance to take him up on his offer.

 What I loved about John was his stories. Oh boy did he tell stories. He would begin his tale and immediately you would begin to smile. You knew there would be a punch line or the story would become so outrageous it was time to laugh. John and I loved our drink. The women would be away and John and I would imbibe. I was in the kitchen and I heard Johnny singing. I came into the living room and there was my 80 pound Golden Retriever on his lap loving the off key crooning. John loved football and we would spend hours being professional Monday morning quarterbacks.

John had a unique hobby that kept him busy. He collected models. He built cars, planes, tanks and even ships. When he came to visit we would have to make a special trip to the model store. This trip was special because you could see the joy and anticipation of a grown man going to the toy store. I would always kid him that we would blow up his models once he had completed them. Of course this did not happen. 

John had a medical episode that required a dreaded doctor’s visit. He did not like the doctor. I think he had an idea of what was to come. The last thing he said before he went to the hospital was; “I just want to get this over with”. It was over but not the way we wanted. The pandemic complicated everything. No visitors, bad communication and the inevitable death. I never got to talk to Johnny again. He died alone in the hospital. I want to be angry and I guess I am. Johnny was my Bro-in-law. I just want to say; Goodbye and I love you. 


Monday, January 17, 2022

BACON JERKY


Bacon jerky is not high on my shopping list. This was a welcome Christmas gift that I appreciate. This product is decent and would be perfect to put in your pocket for a hike or snacks on the couch. It is real bacon that is a little on the sweet side. The only downside to this snack is the texture. It is one limp biscuit.
   I am going to spare you my pet peeve of calling this product "Uncured" and nitrate free. We all know that is not true.