“This is the ‘Madison Square Garden’ of Gurgitation”. This is the era of the ‘Eater’. ‘The passion is raw but the ribs are cooked’, barked the announcer of this wild and messy rib eating challenge of greatness. This contest was for the ‘Rib Eater of the Free World! Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut would use his famous ‘Shimmy Shank ‘ eating technique to try to save his 'World’ title of rib eating master. He had to prove his mettle against other heavy weighta of the elite trencherman society of hero’s. Hero’s, because these food warriors are not mambly, pambly, petiole oil wearing, vegan, locavore, humbly raised, grass fed, happy and free range, eating fraternity/sorority of misfit politically correct food freaks. (Did I forget anybody?) Joey’s main adversary was Pat “Deep Dish’ Bertollieti. These two swine rib eating warriors battled at the Rib Cook off in Sparks Nevada and we were there to witness culinary history.
The thermometer was a cool eighty five degrees minutes before this amazing competition. Joey cruised through out the crowd, meeting and greeting his adoring fans before mounting the stage of palatable consumption. The clock ticked closer and closer to the opening bell. The competitors took their place on the stage. The announcer whipped the crowd into a frenzy with his snappy and relevant digestible and dietary verse. The bell rang and for the next 12 minutes; ribs, sweat, froth, barbeque sauce, and pure pork emotion swept the arena. This was true non pasteurized sport and competition at its savory best.
Joey Chestnut consumed 7.6 pounds of cooked pork ribs. He beat Pat Bertollieti by almost a whole pound. Two thousand five hundred dollars was awarded to our champion and hero. The crowd witnessed gurgitation greatness. We are proud to say we were there!
