CRAZY CRAB BARBEQUE

Crazy Crab at one time was the mascot for the San Francisco Giants baseball team. This mascot took a lot of abuse. Sports mascots need to be aggressive and not tasty. Crazy Crab was shelved but we still have Dungeness crab for our personnel use. The San Francisco Bay Area is the home of Dungeness crab. Oh man! Is this crab so sweet and tasty right now. The first crabs of the season are plump and full of meat. Dungeness crab is sold several ways. We have found that buying live crabs will guarantee freshness and sweetness. It only takes ten minutes in a hot tub of salted water to bloom the deliciousness. (Cookiecrumb?). Today we are going to try a different way by grilling these bottom feeders of the bay.

Mesquite charcoal lit and burning at a high heat is what the Weber vessel will need to turn these Crazy Crabs into edible delights. Five minutes covered on each side and then plunged into icy water will do the trick. Pluck the shells and reserve the meat. Cooked pasta, cream, various cheeses, heat and add crab meat and you  will make one special dish.

This dish of Crazy Crab was sweet with just a little smoky flavor. The cheese and cream made this meal decadent, fun, and a Mad Meat Genius success

ARKANSAS BLACK

Zia our good friend over at Zia in the Kitchen made an apple pie the other day. She wanted to use an apple called ‘Arkansas Black’. This variety of apples lineage goes way back to the 1840’s located in Arkansas and later Missouri. For some reason this apple is not well known in California. I have never seen it in our local markets till now. Some Arkansas Black apples were found at the Santa Rosa farmers market. The vendor would not offer a taste of this apple. That made it even more mysterious. She did volunteer the information that this apple was not good for baking and had a very unique taste. It is funny that all the ‘World Wide Web” information on this apple says it is great for baking.

Living true to its name it is colored a reddish black. Crisp, juicy and sweet was my first bite. I had flavor thoughts of chardonnay, honey and a hint of vanilla. This apple has so much more flavor than a supper market ‘Red Delicious’. I thought this was a great apple for snacking. I will have to pick up some more to see if they are good bakers. According to the ‘WWW’ depending where they were grown and how long they have been in storage will determine if they are suitable for baking. If you have an opportunity, pick up some ‘Arkansas Black’ apples and give them a try. Thanks Zia!

JEREMY

 Life sometimes can be cruel and unfair. With a heavy heart and tears in my eyes I will inform you that my nephew Jeremy has died of cancer. He was 38 years young with a wife and two young daughters. Needless to say we are very sad.
   We are going to get together with the family this weekend. We are going to mourn Jeremy’s death. We are going to huddle and try to make sense of this tragedy. Hopefully our tears will turn to smiles as we share our encounters and stories about Jeremy. We will celebrate his life and the many accomplishments Jeremy achieved. I can guarantee food will play a minor part in this healing process. Lastly, I would like you to turn to your family and loved ones, give them a hug, and tell them that you love them. Jeremy would like this.

BACON SODA

This is the end

Beautiful friend

This is the end

We are concluding our bacon excursion. We are leaving with the inspiration that started this long strange trip of bacon enlightenment. Bacon Soda will be the pop in our glass today. Bacon Soda caught my eye and in the name of research it had to be explored. The only way to experience this porcine beverage was to order the whole kit and caboodle of bacon products. This will explain the reason for bacon lip balm, gravy, and popcorn reviews. We will now pop the top and experience Bacon Soda.

The top was popped and surprise, surprise it smelled like bacon. The soda was poured into a glass full of ice. The color was possibly a bacon shade of pinkish red. It looked a little scary to me. There was a lot of fizzing action. This brew had plenty of carbonation. I positioned my schnozzola over the glass and received a bacon spritzer of aroma. The first sip actually tasted like supper sweet bacon. A second sip was taken. A few seconds elapsed and then it hit me. Sugar, Oh man was it sweet. Then the afterburner kicked in and I tasted an aftertaste that I would not wish on anybody not even the “Spare the Air” board. Oh my, was it awful. I poured the rest down into the sink. The liquid drained away and left a reddish pink residue in the sink. Sugar?, Chemicals?, and nasty funk, what was it? The taste left in my mouth was horrendous.
 Believe it or not, I gave this soda a second chance. The distributors suggested using this bacon soda in a cocktail. Here is the recipe.

Yankee Breakfast Fizz

• 1.5 oz. bourbon
• 1 oz. Jones Bacon Soda
• 1.5 oz. natural maple syrup
• 1 egg white
• 2 oz. heavy cream
• soda water

Combine all ingredients except cream and soda into shaker filled with large ice cubes. Shake hard to emulsify egg white. Strain into chilled 12 oz. glass. Add heavy cream, and stir. Top with soda water.

I could not even take a small sip of this drink because, the bacon smell reminded me of the last swig that was experienced. I was disappointed that I wasted good bourbon on this recipe. A consolation swig of bourbon was taken and our bacon experience was pondered. The Mad Meat Genius consensus is, leave the bacon novelty products for gag gifts. Stick to real bacon and create your own bacon flavored delights. The End, my friends.

BACON GRAVY

‘It’s all about the gravy man!’ This is a philosophy that my mentor Dr. Biggles has preached and we have embraced throughout our journeys and ‘Meat Adventures’. Packaged bacon gravy mix is on the table today. We will be tough but fair in our evaluation of this instant nectar to enhance our meat platters. Will this be another attempt to cash in on the new ‘Black’? Will it deliver to our plates of meat? Pull up a gravy boat and drift into the Madness!

This may be a little edge or help to this product but we are wrapping a pork loin roast in bacon and have smoked it with a little applewood to try our bacon gravy. Once again the instructions could not be simpler. One cup of water with bacon gravy mix mixed over heat until thickened. It looks nice and creamy. The gravy has a bacon aroma. Yes, we have a lift off Bacon Canaveral

Creamy with bacony flavor was the verdict. This product will receive ‘Four Paws’ up rating from Ms. Goofy. She enjoyed it immensely. This thick and wonderful sauce lubricated and enhanced our bacon wrapped pork loin. I enjoyed it and think it is a great convenience product. You could bring it camping or to your office cubicle if it is equipped with a stove. No fuss, no muss, is this bacon convenience product. It is a great substitute if you do not have the time or bacon to make your own gravy. “It’s all about the gravy man”.

BACON POPCORN

We are digging into Santa’s bag of bacon goodies today A bag of bacon flavored popcorn appeared, longing to journey and travel through the taste buds of our imagination. “Bacon popcorn?” is that so far fetched? Corn kernels swimming in bacon fat waiting for the microwave to release its porky goodness? Step over to the machine and let’s pop some corn.
   The instructions are simple; (Instruction side up, Microwave on high for 1-4 minutes until popping stops). Two minutes into the popping phase, bacon aroma will escape and assault your senses. Who is frying that bacon?



The fresh hot popcorn is a salty and buttery tasting treat. Where’s the bacon? I just noticed this is supposed to be cheddar flavored. Am I missing something? The popcorn is delicious as microwave popcorn can ever be. The aroma from the microwave teased and promised bacon flavor. It did not deliver in bacon or cheddar flavor. Next up could be maybe one of the best bacon products ever.

BACON LIP BALM

The UPS man has officially kicked off the Christmas season by delivering a box of bacon products to our front porch. The anticipation of this delivery could be compared to a child, a Mad Meat Genius child, on Christmas Eve waiting for the arrival of  Santa. I could not wait till Christmas to open this package of bacon flavored merchandise. Over the next several days I would like to share the bounty of this package. Today we will look and taste some bacon flavored lip balm. Let's whet our whistle.

"Everything should taste like bacon" is proclaimed on this tube of porky flavored balm. The ingredient list was checked and no actual bacon was (harmed) found. There were a lot of scary sounding ingredients that I hope tastes like bacon. The color of the balm is a shade of light bacon brown. A bacon aroma emits from the tube. The initial application did have a pleasant bacon type of flavor. This product is pure genius. Whenever I need a little bacon lift, a quick swipe to the lips will temporarily satisfy my bacon wants and keep my lips from chapping. Stay tuned for more bacon.